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Monday, February 14, 2011

Ammunition For My Heart...A Gun Shot Wound For My Valentine

Since today is Valemercialism Day, I figured that I should talk about one of my great loves. Gun Fire! See, I am a big fan of guns and all things related.
Now bleeding hearts I understand your fear. But I also understand that it stems from a lack of understanding on your part. So, I will help you understand why I love them so much.
1st, nothing turns me on like the smell of gunpowder and gun oil. I wish they made a perfume because whatever woman I am with would be wearing it constantly. They could call it "Ammo For Your Heart".
2nd, watching a 30 round clip unload on a pigeon is awesome...all thats left is some feathers! I like hunting for small game with really big guns. Instead of using a .22 to shoot a squirrel I would use a 12 gauge. Or an AK 47 with 30 round mag, laser attachment and a silencer...to protect my hearing.
3rd, you get used to the shape under your pillow when you sleep with one there. I keep a pistol under my pillow in case i get any uninvited guests. If you break into my house, you will get shot. Thats the only warning I give.
4th, they look awesome. I love the way they look. Masteries of engineering. And holding them is almost as much of a turn on as shooting them. Some of them are as SeXy as some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.
5th, Alot of people that get shot still love them! Hows that for dedication? The NRA should use that for a commercial. Show two guys get shot and then go out and buy another gun. We can call that Gunvertising.
So, faceless readers, before you whine bitch and complain about guns and gun control. Go down to your local gun store, buy the most awesome looking gun they have, go to the shooting range or local petting zoo, and unload about 200 dollars worth of ammo.
And if that doesn't change your mind, I'll give you a gunshot for your Valentine.
(Thanks to Tash.o for her inspiring me with todays topic and title.)

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