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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Greatest American Hero

I'm not usually fond of politicians, but I have witnessed the future of America. And his name is Basil Marceaux.
Ok so why do you ask is this guy the most amazing politician ever? Well, I have made a list of his most awesome campaign promises.
First and foremost, he has promised that if you vote for him he will "immune you from all crimes for the rest of your life". How is that for awesome? You vote for this guy and you have a get out of jail free card for life!
However, Mr Marceaux does not like murderers...He has promised that if you kill anyone he will kill you...in the same manner that you killed that guy. That is awesome. Most states can't even properly execute criminals using just lethal injection or the electric chair, this guy has promised if you stab a guy he will stab you back!
Another promise that speaks straight to my heart is his opinions on gun control. As you all already know, I am a firm believer in everyone owning guns. Well apparently, so is Mr Marceaux. He has stated that the framers of the Constitution knew that criminals and nut cases existed, but because they didn't put a sub paragraph saying that they could not possess them, then who are we to say that they can't! I agree. I say give everyone a gun and call it done. But Basil has other ideas, he believes if you don't have a gun on you and you get checked...you should be fined 10 dollars. Now that is progressive thinking.
He also has a strong stance on environmentalism and the use of fossil fuels. Basil has said that as Governor of Tenn., he will plant grass in every vacant lot and sell it for gas. I think this was a common thing back in the 70's if you were hitch hiking. You were asked to provide gas grass or ass to pay for your ride. I like where you are going with this Basil. If you plant enough grass, people will be too high to know they are out of gas.
Basil also thinks we need to improve our education system. We need to invest heavily in phonics. He thinks that students will prosper if they can read the Congressional minutes in class each day. I agree Basil, this will ensure our youth get plenty of sleep.
Another platform that I believe many can relate to is traffic stops. Basil has made it his life long goal to ban the practice from law enforcement. He thinks that writing you a ticket for driving 70 mph over the speed limit in a residential zone is unconstitutional and I know he is right.
Before I end my pledge of support for Mr Marceaux, let me touch on a few things he has done in service of our great country. Please keep in mind that he does these things without being asked...or even wanted. And he does them selflessly as he is not being paid.
He has run for office and lost more races than a 3 legged horse named lucky. He has been tazed multiple times while trying to "make the flag fly right". He has been tried in court numerous times mostly for traffic offenses and found innocent by reason of insanity. Is it crazy to want the best for our nation? And did I mention he is a Republican. Not because he believes in the Nationally recognized party's agenda, but because we say allegiance to the Republic for which it stands, not the Democracy.
Even though he lost the last round of elections it must be noted that he placed 9th of 11 candidates in one of the races. And there are rumors he plans to challenge Barack Obama in the 2012 Presidential primaries. So America, go out and go to the polls and lets elect the Greatest American Hero. For more info, check out his Wikipedia entry or watch his videos on YouTube. He is truly an inspiration.

4 comments:

  1. OMG, I just read the first sentence and thats ALLLLL I had to read before I laughed coffee through my nose! Thanks Ben...*grabs tissue* Ok now to finish the reading. LMFAO!!

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  2. Think about how I felt as I wrote this biography of this great man

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  3. LOL! Where do you find this stuff and can you send me more of it??

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