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Friday, March 11, 2011

Frankly My Dear I Don't Need A Deliverance

As my vacation winds down in Savannah, I reflect now on all that I have seen and learned while here. Savannah is a beautiful city. After all, what is more beautiful than really big cemetery that you can live in?
See, Savannah is regarded by many to be one of the most haunted cities in America. And while they may be Ghost-Friendly, they aren't necessarily dead friendly. Savannah has a bad habit of just building on top of their cemeteries. Need room for some new construction? Well those dead guys over there aren't doing anything their land, so F*** em and build it there.
In one of the squares, the city tried 5 times in 5 different locations to put in a new water meter and they found 6 different bodies. They decided to skip installing the water meter and built a Star-bucks there instead.
Savannah also has changed the way homeless people act and how they beg for money. See, in Savannah, panhandling is illegal. Now, I realize it is illegal most places, but in Savannah there are signs posted telling you to call 911 in the event of people begging. So to get around actually begging for money, the panhandlers make flowers out of corn husks. They then peddle these for anywhere between $6 and $15 depending on how much they think they can get from you. Others sing the same verse out of key all day and some play different musical instruments as well as I would to earn cash. Each time I was approached I tried to sell them the free brochures I was carrying.
Because Savannah is a haunted city, I decided to take a haunted tour. The scariest part of the event was the 80 year old woman in her night gown that yelled at us at 2 AM. We looked at all the best abandoned buildings and got called names by the various homeless people whose sleep we disturbed. Several of those with us had been drinking, which seemed to improve the experience for them overall. After all, I've seen worse things than ghosts when I'm falling over drunk.
But being drunk is the second biggest thing that Savannah is famous for. They have an open container law which says if you have an open This law makes drinking holidays more popular here. With St Patricks coming up you can find t -shirts saying things like "I got river faced on S*** Street". Here in Savannah, they take this holiday very seriously and offer pints to anyone between the ages of 6 and 60.
I toured Fort Pulaski while I was here. This is a fort that saw only one battle in the civil war. 15 mins after the Union started firing cannons at it, the officer in charge decided he wasn't paid enough and raised the white flag.
I also got to climb up into a real lighthouse and tour a historically accurate re-creation of a civil war town. I was especially impressed with the "Ye Olde Coke Machine".
I later went to Bonaventure Cemetery, made famous in the novel and movie titled "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil". While driving through parts of Savannah that seemed straight from "Deliverance", I ended up talking to one of the people who possibly inspired it.
There ya have it readers, my week in one of my favorite cities.


  1. Sounds like you had a great time!!! LOL, the cemetery would have been fun! You should make it a point to go to New Orleans and take some of their tours. Awesome!

  2. I'm going to come to America one day and you are going to take me to all of these lovely places. I'll make sure i get the absinthe in lol