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Monday, March 28, 2011

I Have A Dream. And I Have A Cheese Danish

Because of my vivid imagination, I often have vivid dreams. While most people may seek the deeper meaning, I usually just press skip and move on. But this dream has me puzzled as to what it could mean.
I found myself in a mountainous region in the winter time. Which is odd in and of itself because I hate the cold. I was helping train people in a sport I've never tried (snow skiing). Although, the sheer number of beautiful women that inhabited this ski lodge makes me want to brave the cold and see this in the real world.
A few days into the dream a beautiful, young, and possibly possessed redhead enters the picture. She has a monkey with her that tells her to do things. She says her name is Arilyn and she must reach Fort Lauderdale or the world may suffer. She actually is telling this to someone else and I am just eavesdropping. This other guy, whom I think was named Mike agrees to help the woman, but his car has been stolen by a homeless man and his pet goat. So, out of boredom, I decide to drive the two down to Florida in my Lexus. I didn't take the mustang because the Lexus gets better gas mileage.
The monkey climbs up front with me and acts as a GPS and gives me the directions of the resort we are headed to. We drove uneventfully until we reached what must have been Louisiana. This was when the llama jumped out in front of us and caused me to wreck in the ditch.
A hooded courier was escorting the llama back to South America. Apparently, he had stolen it from a petting zoo and felt the need to liberate it. I think he was part of PETA.
The monkey didn't like the llama much because it spit. Mike and Arilyn were happy to have more people involved in the quest to Florida which must now detour into Brazil. However, at this moment gunfire opened up on us and killed the courier and Mike as the petting zoo people attacked us. They wanted their llama back. Arilyn took this to mean the llama was the Chosen One and would bring about absolution to all that followed it.
I merely giggled as I stayed below the gunfire. I managed to lead the llama, the monkey and Arilyn away from the skirmish, although at this point I wanted to throw the monkey at our pursuers. Mostly because I have always just wanted to throw a monkey at someone.
We ran until we found a small shack in the swampland and I could hear banjo music in the distance. The monkey thought it would be a great resting place since it seems our pursuers had lost our trail. Arilyn got more comfortable by getting completely naked and curling up beside me on the couch. The llama and the monkey looked on with jealousy.
The next morning we again began our trek through the swamp. It was humid and there were bugs. I hate bugs. It wasn't long until a racket ahead of us made us look towards the south east. A bright flare as if the world was on fire lit up the horizon.
Arilyn fell down sobbing and the llama spit on me.
The monkey claimed it was all my fault and that I should have made them change their ways. The waters turned red and it seemed like the wind was crying. The monkey had transformed into a cheese danish and the llama fell over dead. Arilyn seemed to turn to ash and I glowed slightly.
As dust gathered on the horizon and started blocking out the light, I remember smiling and thinking that I won't have to worry about traffic anymore.

1 comment:

  1. Pet goats are notorious carjackers.
    Regular goats have other things on their minds but once you make one a pet, be damned if there isn't some car somewhere being taken without the owner knowing.