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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Would Say More But The Military, CIA, Dairy Farmers From Wisconsin Are Watching

Todays blog will be a bit different. I came across some really interesting reading so I want to share it with you. I will write this verbatim and comment after different sections. I will be taking excerpts from several of these letters and they are written by a woman claiming to be Jane Hamilton. Yes, the famous author, Jane Hamilton. I will refer to her as Jane.
"Dr. Wells, The other day, I was at the shell station. I have often been a victim of radio stalking."
I know what you mean Jane. I have as well, I turn on the radio and the music seems to follow me.
"There was a song playing. I'm sure it was directed at me. I think its the military." You know Jane, you are probably correct. After all, its not like the military has anything else better to do than to play songs dedicated to you on a radio station that you may not even be listening to you.
"Jane Hamilton is not the problem. Mafia is the problem." Are you sure its the mafia? I think it may be the Yakuza, Jane!
"I think witness protection is violating my right to therapy and representation. This is abusive" I agree. I think the whole idea of witness protection is abusive and we should get rid of it.
"Tammy is a dope dealer and a pimp. She is a crime boss and unfit to interact with children." I don't know who this Tammy is, but I want to meet her!
"I do not agree to give Laurie any of my enterprises. Laurie has been irrational." Which obviously, you are a great judge of.
"The Navy wants my book to be published by a traditional publisher. They think my book, published as is, will get them tobacco." I also want Tobacco from your book Jane.
"To give you an idea of the level of stalking, here yesterday I ate a can of Publix Pasta. Today I ate a can of Publix Pasta. The quantity in the can had been altered." But  Jane, this sounds impossible. "This is virtually impossible. But, it is what occurred." Well, if thats what happened!
"Larry, Mike, Laurie, the Democrats and the military are trying to obstruct my book. the FBI and the CIA seem to be trying to steal it." But you didn't mention the NSA, have they already stolen it and returned it before you knew they were involved?
And lastly, "I think I met the Harry Potter star in Carefree Arizona. And, I think he was trying to tell me- Colorado police stole a bunch of my literary work and sold it to the Harry Potter author. He wants to work with me or date me. And, he thinks I should get my money. He is a bright, likeable professional and I am interested in working with him. He owns a subway in Carefree, Arizona." That was a mouthful. I think she's talking about the guy who plays Hagrid.

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