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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I'm Saving This For Later

Readers, as some of you may or may not know I am spending the week in Savannah. So while crashing in my hotel room, flipping through channels, and being generally bored. I came across the show Hoarders.
I must say I was appalled. No, not by the hoarders themselves. And not by the way that these people lived either. But by the therapists that told them they shouldn't live that way. See I'm wondering if maybe living like that may be the best lifestyle. Think about it like this.
Sure its a little disorganized, but times are tough right now. What better way to keep track of where you spent your money than by keeping everything that you spent your money on. While some people struggle to keep up with receipts for tax season deductions, hoarders not only have all the receipts of every purchase they have ever made, but they still have all the purchases they ever made.
I know the idea of a house full of empty tv dinner boxes and popsicle sticks may seem disgusting, but future historians will be grateful for these people. I think the word Pharaoh is Egyptian for Hoarder. And they built monuments to store their "treasures". Which if I must remind everyone consisted of mummified remains of people and cats.
See, one thousand years into the future, the archeologists of the time will have a much easier time figuring out how we lived because of the hoarders. Every aspect of the human experience will be accounted for. They will know what we ate, how we were entertained and why we became  extinct.
Besides, this would make going to Grandma's house much more exciting. It would be like a treasure hunt every single time. Grandma's house is like a box of chocolate, you never know when you might need a tetanus booster.
If more people became hoarders, then there would be less trash in the landfills. It would just be in your neighbors house instead, which must be better for the environment. Also, this would create new habitats for several endangered species, like cock roaches and mice.
Also, as a hoarder, you would never have to worry about uninvited guests as no one would ever visit you. You could live a life style more reclusive than Howard Hughes. Just instead of limitless cash, you would have limitless trash.


  1. **yawns** :P HA the blogs ...keep em coming hun !!


  3. I love it when people spell "pharaoh" correctly.