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Friday, March 18, 2011

The Justifying Justification

Readers. My head is pounding. Sure, I knew better than to pound Green Whiskey, but I had no choice. If it hadn't been St Patrick's Day, I would have behaved. But, really, it is expected. I mean, everyone else probably feels the same way. Why am I justifying myself?
Which brings me to the subject of today's blog: The Justifiable Justification. This will be a new weekly segment, where I find something in the news and then justify the decisions that lead to that event.
How is that different from some of my other blogs you ask? After all, haven't I already justified things like stalkers, racist cartoons, cross-dressing and midget rentals? Well, in all honesty it's not. I'm just giving a fancy new name to something I've already been doing.
On the other hand, it will help add clarity to a singular blog a week. You will be able to look at the title and say "Oh its 'The _____ Justification'." This can help possibly prepare the reader for what I have in store. It can maybe make you a bit more at ease, after all I wonder how many I frightened away when I justified bestiality. And there I am justifying again.
See, people only make justifications, when they are trying convince themselves and others that bad ideas are good ones. Like when your wife walks in on you watching goat porn. You can't just say "It was on when I got here." You have to explain why you were watching, "Honey, I just wanted to know the proper procedures in case this ever came up."
People justify things all the time. Like speeding, "Its only 10 miles over the limit, no one cares." or "Well, he probably has another pen." Or "The bank has millions, why would they miss a few thousand." Or when she asks if certain clothes make her look fat, you can't be honest because that would hurt her feelings and thus you justify the lie because you don't want to sleep alone.
Even famous people make justifications. Take Brad Pitt. He left one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood for one of Hollywoods biggest tramps. Sure, Angelina is cute, but let's not forget that she is tatted up more than most tattoo artists. She also has had more lovers than many porn stars. And for a while wore a vial of blood of her ex husband around her neck. But, that was before Brad met her after all. Everyone has a past and does crazy things, not usually the entire cast of the young and the restless, but she was young and adventurous. Besides, she's a major activist now for children in impoverished nations. Yeah she brings a kid home every time she goes on vacation, but she loves the world. And, Jennifer, she didn't want kids anyway.
Corporations also make these same justifications. Fast food places added fruit to prove that they don't cause obesity. Sony said their Playstation 3 could take over missile defense systems, but the chip that does that is what gives it the sweet ass graphics. And Toyota claimed that they were just living up to their promise of "Moving Forward." No mention of stopping.
So thats todays justification...the act of justifying.


  1. Now I need to justify my reading other people's blogs when I could be updating my own.

  2. Im guilty of the same thing most days..sighs