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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Worlds Wildest Police Brutality Videos

I am a sadist. I came to this conclusion after watching a COPS marathon. I found myself secretly hoping that every person approached by the police man would give him reason to use his taser. My list of acceptable reasons include blinking and taking too long to answer a question.
I watched this show for hours and I think that, the more brutal it got, the more entertaining it became.
I watched half naked girl pick a fight with a police woman on horseback. She was quickly smacked down and tackled to the pavement. I went to Mardi Gras on three different occasions, but I never saw more than a horseback cop wave at people.
I watched "Jimmy the Crackhead Redneck" argue with an officer when asked to put his hands behind his back. I giggled as the officer slammed this guys head onto the hood of the patrol car.
I was disappointed that the two guys, that were fighting before the cops showed up, became very co-operative once the boys in blue showed up.
When Barry was explaining to the camera why he "hadn't" just bought meth from an undercover cop, I just wanted him to get punched in the face.
When the middle aged business man, Eric, was crying because he was caught in a prostitution sting, I was hoping he would be roughed up a bit for trying to run.
I watched a crack dealer get chased down on foot and tackled by a one legged cop and I laughed. I laughed even more as the one legged cop almost had a heart attack. Even as bad a shape as I am in, if i was a criminal and a one legged man that is extremely over weight could run me down on foot....I would rethink career choices.
Then once the COPS marathon ended, a new series called Campus PD came on and I was entertained by college kids being treated like punching bags by officers of the law.
One girl went to jail because she gave an officer the wrong name not once, not twice, but three times. Another guy did the same thing, but at least he had a kilo of coke so I can understand why.
If the state would allow me to just randomly taze people, I would let them taze me as much as they wanted...if thats the cost for pay to play, sign me up.
Working in the retail sector for as many years as I did, being able to use near lethal force would be a great motivation tool. If a shoplifter even looked at me wrong...ZZZZZZAAAAPPPPPPPP "I said sit down MotherF*****!" I don't know about you, but that gives me a jolt of excitement.
So what exactly is wrong with me, that I enjoy watching people treated so badly? After all, if I was the one in the video, I am not so sure I would enjoy that treatment.
My therapist would say its because I'm secretly envious of everyone else alive, and watching bad things happen to others justifies my existence. I think she may be on to something, but then again she is the best veterinarian I've ever visited.


  1. Everybody loves a good human footstool. There's some 500-word German word for it that translates roughly as "Even though you were my best friend, I am SO thankful to Cheez-Us that the mortal shell hit you instead of me! Self-preservation rocks, baby!" A-men.