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Saturday, April 16, 2011

We Are Living In A Material World And My House Bears Those Markings

How would you like your mortgage paid for you? Well nows your chance and all it will cost you is the value of your home.
A new advertising firm, Adzookie, has discovered a way to ensure it can advertise effectively: by painting its logos on your homes. I think this is a great idea! How many of us wouldn't want to live in the neighborhood that resembles a car from Nascar?
The website for Adzookie is very vague about the conditions of the contract. they never say exactly what they will paint your house to look like. They do, however, offer one picture of their own logo in yellow. But nowhere in the rules could I find that specific language saying that they would only paint their own logo. Instead they say, "if you don't mind brightly colored houses that draw the stares of neighbors." This makes me think that instead of their own logos, they will indeed paint the logos and advertisements of their clients. I imagine, there is a huge disclaimer if one of those clients is a drug for fighting herpes. You could have the drugs logo along with its catch phrase of "making the outbreaks less frequent" right above your front door. I wonder if this would dissuade uninvited guests like Jehovah Witnesses or Girl Scouts.
According to the website the contract is for 3 months but could be extended for one year. Imagine living in your gated community and drawing the ire of the home owners association by living in the Kotex home!
I mean, honestly, how much worse could the advertisements be than what your neighbors already do to their homes? My neighbor just painted his house bright fuchsia. If they had let Adzookie paint their house, it may have still been bright fuchsia, but it may now also have the Raisin Bran logo.
Since your house is now a giant billboard, think of the possibilities.
One, it would ensure anyone could find you with minimal directions. "Yeah, turn right at the big oak, left at the house with the red door and I live directly across from the Imodium House."
Two, it would give the neighbors something else to talk about, besides the numerous women you bring home while your wife is out of town. Or for you ladies, the different yoga instructors that you bring over after your husband goes to work to help you...ahem...stretch things out.
Three, it will prove to your parents that your significant other ISN'T the biggest whore in town. After all, being paid to live in a home sponsored by Summer's Eve or Angel Soft requires a special kind of prostitution.
I think signing up with this program would be a lot like using chat roulette, sure there's a chance a normal person may appear on the other screen, but most likely all you will get is a penis.
After all your home should say something about you. I'd like mine to say "My home is my castle and to the next 20 callers, you can save 15% by switching your car insurance to Geico."

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