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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You May Live Your Life In Fast Forward, But I Prefer A Universal Remote

My good friend Jason Gil is the inspiration behind todays Sympathy. The idea began with a joke about the opposite sex and then it began to weave something much deeper within my fractured mind. So I took another look at the movie "Click". The moral message of the movie is that you should enjoy life and not wanna rush through the bad parts, but I disagree.
I think having a remote control device that affects the world around you would be awesome. Imagine fast forwarding through the boring stuff and rewinding over and over the really good moments. And sometimes, you need to just press pause!
See lets look at it like this, no one really wants to be bitched at by their significant other, so I would just skip all those moments. And I have had some experiences that I can only relive in my mind...how great would it be to hit rewind over and over and over until you are too tired to continue on?
And then there are moments that can make use of all the functions on the remote. Like the time you punched your boss in the face for pissing you off! You can rewind, fast forward and pause to watch that in every possible angle or even in HD or Wide Screen.
Then there are those meetings that your company makes you attend! You know the ones! The ones that make you feel like you are taking part in an infomercial! Don't you wish you had a "next  chapter button" to get past that?
And how about the 1st moment the girl you like invites you back up to her place? Don't you wish you could slow it down and take it all in? And just think, you could do that over and over and over.
And how many times would like to share a 1st kiss with the person you love?
And how many times would you like to skip a kiss from someone that makes you want to vomit?
Or wouldn't you like to fast forward the conversation you will have with your wife about getting fired for looking at asian porn on company time?
And lets go one step further: Imagine a DVR device so you can share the best moments with friends and family! No one believes you scored with a porn star? Then upload the video and play it on Your Tube! Or how about that time you caught your nosy neighbor (who called the cops because you played your music to loud) smoking weed in the back yard, play that video at the home owners association!
Or like the time you saw someone that belonged on the people of Wal-Mart. You could show that off to everyone live and not have to describe who Rainbow Brite is to a 20 year old.
So, scientist like people get cracking. I wanna rewind back the clock and give myself this device when I was 19. This way I could take advantage of all best features while I am still young enough to use them. Of course if you can't invent them, why don't we all pretend that they have! How much more fun would that be then?

1 comment:

  1. LMFAO! I so agree on this. I would fast forward 180 days.

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