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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I Will Punch You In The Face

Today I will be sharing some news from around the world or at least from across the aisle...the freezer aisle that is.
Yesterday a court battle began and ended between opera singer Marcella Caprario and Dr Cathleen London. The battle that took place in the courtroom was not their first scuffle, however. See, when Caprario, who is not only an opera singer but also a teacher, first met Dr London, it was her fists that did the talking. 
Caprario was shopping with her husband and badly craving some frozen pad Thai. But unfortunately, London's kids were playing monkey in the middle with it. So Caprario did the only thing she could do. She punched London in the face.
Her attorney, Mark Bederow, claimed that it was a completely justifiable and reasonable response. And courts in NYC agreed. Basically, if you get between a vegan and her cheap frozen dinner, the fights over when the fat opera singer punches you in the face.
In Romania, a gypsy woman was charged with slapping a police officer. What sucks is that she was also slapped back by the cop. 
So, basically the long arm of the law slapped you and bent you over...
Back in 2009, a man in Gwinnet County Georgia was arrested after he slapped a strangers child for crying. 
Roger Stephens is your typical Wal-Mart customer...namely inbred...and on  Aug 31 2009, while he was shopping for potted meat and vienna sausages, he came across a 2 year old child that was crying. 
Now Mr Stephens did what any normal 61 year old man would do, he slapped her four to five times in the face. He then looked at the child's mom and said "Told you I could shut her up."
I've had this urge in restaurants and movie theaters, but never in Wal-Mart...Makes me never wanna violate any white trash's air space.
In the Tampa Bay area...On May 24 2010, a homeless man slapped his homeless girlfriend for refusing to strip for him.
According to the police reports Donald Abel, 60, slapped Tekita Jackson because she refused to perform a strip tease for him.  The two had slept in parking lots and doorways for a year and she claimed he was always abusive.
Cops arrested a 17 year old girl in Seattle for assault after they punched her in the face. That's right, police punched a girl in the face and then arrested her! I have no idea when this happened, but the video can be found on youtube. 
So, in closing...if you are an officer of the law or an opera can punch whoever you want in the face and get away with it. If you are anyone else, and in some cases if you are the victim, you can go to jail.

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