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Saturday, June 18, 2011

In Oregon, Get The Whole Kit And Kaboodle

And just when I was ready to move to Oregon and get my own do it yourself suicide kit, they go and outlaw them. And why do I need a suicide kit...because the government come and took my baby.
See, the state of Oregon is one of the states that allows doctors to help patients commit suicide. This has led to some great money making opportunities for creative entrepreneurs. One lady in particular, Sharllote Hydorn aged 91, began selling suicide kits to customers via mail order. These kits will run you about $60 after shipping and consist of a plastic bag with a hose that you can attach to a helium tank.
Ms Hydorn claims her product is to "help patients with terminal diseases end it all" and help supplement my social security income.
The only difference between Ms Hydorn and Doctors that help you die is the amount of education. Apparently, you need a doctorate in suicide to be able to profit off of someones suicide. This way the insurance company makes money, the hospitals, and the doctors and probably the state as well.
The new law that is in the process of being passed "makes it a crime to sell anything that helps someone else to die". I think if Grandma wants to asphyxiate herself, let her...but if it's for some sick sex game...i only want to her about it if you are a hot female.
Law makers don't want senior citizens on the verge of dying to profit off of people dying it seems.
I say lets up the ante! Let Ms Hydorn not only sell the product but demonstrate it as well...sure it could only be demonstrated once, but isn't that all you would need? I mean, you will either know if it is for you or not after one example.
And then with this new law other factors come in...I mean whats the point of guns other than to help people die? Does this new law make it a crime to sell firearms? And even though they claim the new law won't affect doctors....don't they help you die as well? Will this out law physicians?
I think people that want to die should be able to go to a place similar to a gun range and people that want to help them should be legally allowed to help them. We could have death by baseball bat, Frisbee, and ping pong balls all added to the natural causes list.
And I think maybe there could be more related products to sell. Bundle do it yourself wills, suicide and cremation kits into deals.
The cremation kits would include 3 gallons of kerosene and a match. So basically after you kill yourself you set yourself on fire and let your neighbors collect the ashes. We could even include a money back guarantee. If you don't die the way you thought you should just return the unused portions within 30 minutes of your suicide for a full refund.
They could even bundle in pastors and services and sell the whole kit and kaboodle. That's what we will call it...A Suicide Kit & Kaboodle.

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