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Friday, June 17, 2011

No Good Deed Goes Un-Taxed, Un-Fined, Or Un-Impounded

The American dream is taxable. That is the message that local authorities from Montgomery County, Maryland is sending out to big business. And by big business, I am referring to all the 6 year olds running lemonade stands across the county.
See, apparently you need a vendors license in order to operate a lemonade stand. These licenses are about $300 according to sources. Which means after buying the lemonade, the sugar, the cups, the object to stir it with, a pony, and the lumber to build your stand,  you will owe $3,457 after you collect all the days profits.
The problem arose when the US Open had the nerve of opening up in the town of Bethesda, Maryland. Now for those of you that have no idea what the US Open is, I will tell you. It's the show I watch to help me go to sleep at night.
Enter Carrie Marriott, the mother of one of the precocious youths that is at the center of this civil disobedience. She allowed her child, and a neighbors child, to set up a lemonade stand in their yard next to the US Open. This was in clear violation of Bethesda's county ordinance on operating lemonade stands using illegal child labor, on hot days, beside busy roads, in order to milk the visitors to the US Open of their hard earned money so she could donate it to a charity that helps fund research for cancer.
The nerve of this woman. Doesn't she realize that raising money for charities is only available to large corporations looking to have more tax write offs at the end of the fiscal year? Who does she think she is?
She should consider herself lucky that all they did was shut her kids lemonade stand down...except that wasn't all the county did. No, in a move that makes me proud of bureaucracy, they also fined her $500. Take that Marriott!
She should be glad that they didn't put a lien on her house! After all, the county was allowing her neighbors to charge up to $60 a car for people to park in their yards and attend the event! But everyone knows that being able to park on someone's lawn to watch the most boring sport ever, is more important than a couple of kids raising money for pediatric cancer research.
Just think, if they impounded her house, the county could then bulldoze her home and make the whole lot a parking garage for next years US Open! Then, they could build lemonade stands and maybe even a taco stand that were owned by the county to help make up some budget deficits. And maybe at the end of the year they can make a small $10 donation in the form of a gift card to the Sizzler to a guy that helps research the researching of cancer.
They say no good deed goes unpunished, but I don't think it applies here. I think a better phrase would be...No good deed goes un-taxed, un-fined or un-impounded.

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