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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Touching Someones Ass In Texas Can Now Be A Crime

Texas is known for having bigger well..everything. And so it comes as no surprise that they have a bone to pick with the TSA (Transport Security Administration).
See, texans are tired of the TSA groping their really big balls at airports across the state. So tired of it, that texas Governer has reintroduced a bill that died in regular session to the states legislatures special session.
The bill "would criminlize the touching of genitals" by anyone including the TSA.
One can hardly fault the TSA operatives, after all they are protecting us from terrorists. And if the interest of protecting us they cop feels of every attractive person to walk through the airport, then I say Good for them!!
See, these rent a cops turned official law men, have long been treated badly by commercial fliers everywhere. Then after 9/11, they were made the last line of defense against people meaning us harm on our airways.
You can't expect them not to let that power go to their head! I mean lets look at the odds here for a moment...lets say that its June and a guy wants to board a plane wearing a ski mask, heavy trench coat and combat boots...he has just as much chance of being a terrorist as the hot 18 year old in the leopard mini skirt and halter top that stops above her navel that the TSA chose to *ahem* inspect instead.
After all, the guy can only hide stuff in his clothing, women have so many other hiding places!
I think that if deemed necessary, the TSA should be allowed to do full cavity searches in private rooms that come stocked with Champagne and Trojans.
Besides...its not like you weren't getting raped already...look at what you paid to fly to start with!!
I think that smart entrepeneurs should start selling rubber gloves and cotton swabs right beside the security gates, so that concerned passengers can know that the pair of gloves that just touched ur anus was fresh.
I think thats the right idea, and if they want they can bundle that universal health care right in with this as well...I needed a prostate exam anyways.
The TSA has responded that they will continue to sodomize you as they feel necessary and that since Federal law supercedes state law, you can suck it!
So quit complaining...after all if you let that stranger insert beads up your ass the night before at the Quality Inn, why complain about someone doing it for free?
I mean, if you think about it, we do way worse with hookers and our girlfriends anyways. I think people just want to bitch. For some people, this may the only action they can get.
So, Texas, you are now on my no flys open list...Next time I am there, I want you to spread your cheeks and grab your balls, because its time for an enema.

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