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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Every Hour Is Happy Hour!

Readers. I recently found two things that go together like ice and cream. They fit so well that keeping them separated any longer would be a crime.
That's right. I'm talking about Coors Light and McDonald's. Actually it could be any beer with any fast food chain. After all, what could be a better way to enjoy greasy almost food than slogging it down with a 40oz of my favorite brew.
I don't understand why no one else has thought to do this!
Someone else thought to do this. Burger King recently opened what they refer to as "Whopper Bars" in the cities of Las Vegas, Miami and of all places...Kansas City. Although that last choice may be a smart move after all, since it gives people a reason to want to go to Missouri.
Burger King isn't alone in this trend though, Starbucks and Sonic are also contemplating following suite. I think this is a great idea! Imagine walking into your corner Starbucks and getting a whipped Mocha Latte with a shot of Kahlua. Actually any item from Starbucks would be improved by a shot of Kahlua!
This would make those coffee houses much more fun to hang out in. After all, Starbucks tends to draw hot young women that pretend to be environmentally sensitive because they purchase an overpriced beverage that was served in a cup made of recycled material so they can justify driving the H3. Now mix in shots, and you have another bad decision these ladies can potentially make.
Sonic would also be a natural fit for serving both beer and liquor. I would love to have a Cherry Limeade Chiller with a shot of Woodford Reserve Bourbon.
I think this should be the market standard. Imagine getting a real "Happy Meal" that contains a 6 pack of Amber Bock. I'd say that makes for a much better toy.
This would make taking the kids to Chucky Cheese much more fun and Friendlys may just live up to its name if they offer Jager shots with purchase of Pistachio ice cream.
Wendys could offer the "Irish Whiskey" frostey!
Or how would you like to get a real Captain to help you find inner peace at Long John Silvers?
Now that we have established how awesome this idea is...let's figure out how we will market it! Imagine Ronald and Grimace stumbling out of the 100 Acre Woods (or where ever the imaginary people of McDonalds come from) talking about how great a time they had at Mickey D's.
Maybe in the Burger King commercials the King would seem less creepy after a few shots...but a better commercial would be the King creeping you out further by trying to get his unsuspecting victims to do body shots of his huge head!
Taco Bell could show 4 guys "crossing the border" to get late night food and Tequila/Corona.
People! I think we are missing the boat on business opportunities. After all, it's proven that when the economy goes down that drinking goes up! So think of it as fixing the broken economy! Selling drinks to people that are depressed will create new jobs to be given to some of those that are drinking which gives them more money to pay bills which makes them want to drink because they are happy! This is a total win-win!
Thanks to Wayne Bird for providing me with the idea for todays blog.


  1. The best part of this idea is that Sonic is a drive-in and Burger King has a drive-thru. Nothing like a little DUI to spice up your day!

  2. which leads to tomorrows blog...Why I feel the limit for DUI should be raised to 11.0

  3. "hot young women that pretend to be environmentally sensitive because they purchase an overpriced beverage that was served in a cup made of recycled material so they can justify driving the H3." I totally LOLed at this. SO TRUE.