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Friday, July 15, 2011

My Letter To The Editor

Readers...I have since the beginning been sharing my slanted editorial views with you and the masses. I have played devils advocate defending such hard hitting issues as Valemercialism and the right to bare arms. I have warned you of the dangers of bears and tried to push my politics of following Basil Marceaux down your throats.
Now my journalistic integrity must be put to the ultimate test. I have to write an editorial for my College English Creative Writing Class.
The problem is...what do I write about? See, the college submission must be relevant and timely. Which creates an interesting conundrum...If its interesting and timely...I have probably already made fun...I mean brought it to your attention.
So, I readers, I come to you looking for suggestions. What would you like to see me discuss that is relevant to the world around us? Several of you have already earned the Gold Star of Appreciation that I give in the form of inspired by's and now is your chance to earn one for yourself. Or to earn a second or even a third.
I will list some of the things that I have noticed happening in the world around us today.
1. Arizona Senator Lori Klein pulls her cute pink handgun on a reporter in defense of her 2nd amendment rights. I like this topic and even if this doesn't win the voting process, I will probably get to this eventually. I could write in defense of the senators actions, and justify why she did it.
2. California Republican Jeff Stone wants to split the state into two separate entities. This would create an North and South California. I could write this slanted in one of two ways. One -- the republican based South California wants to secede to keep from performing gay marriages or that the state should remain in tact and be one big miserable family.
3. Geico's mascot endangered as black market trade for geckos grows! Apparently the little lizards can be used to "treat" AIDS and impotence. I could write an article supporting the practice or I could side with the EPA and other environmental organizations in trying to stop it.
4. In an effort to combat religious oppression, Austrian resident Niko Alm is fighting to wear a pasta strainer as a hat in his drivers license photo. Niko belongs to the Church of the Spaghetti Monster and says the strainer is a religious symbol and that by denying him wearing it they are attacking his belief system. I would love to defend this guy!
5. An unknown colony of Snow Leopards has been discovered. The leopards have been thought of as nearly extinct. I can approach this in one of two ways: I can defend the environment and argue against deforestation or I can side with hunters claiming that if we didn't know these existed how can we say they are endangered?

So there are five of my ideas...if you like one of these message me here or on FaceBook. Or send me a text message at (850) 461 6487. Feel free to suggest another topic, just make sure it is relevant and easily researchable. If you help me choose, you will gain honorable mention here when I finally post it. Please send all messages by Sunday 5PM EST.


  1. I'm very happy to hear about the snow leopards. Not sure how that news never filtered into my awareness. Oh wait. I do. The media's been consumed with more important things like whether or not Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are finally going to tie the knot.

    But here's something I think might be interesting:

    How bad, exactly, does politics have to be if nobody wants to run? I mean, I remember when so many were scandalized because Clinton admitted to smoking pot (even if he didn't admit to inhaling) and we all knew then that we were going to be hard pressed to find anyone to run for office who hadn't smoked pot in a few more elections. And what with a sex scandal destroying Tiger Woods's career it begs the question: Would he have fared better in politics? Probably not. His name is just as easy a joke as Weiners'.

    I'm curious to see what you come up with, all puns intended, for this one. Good luck and have fun. (Take that last advice in any way you like.)


  3. Lira...unfortunately Ive already addressed that subject in an earlier blog and the rules of the college paper is that I can't plagiarize as much fun as that would be to rehash, I am not allowed to revisit

  4. Alberta has an interesting law here called the AIDA or Adult Interdependency Act it's Alberta's redneck conservative response to the supreme court's ruling that it's a civil rights violation to refuse same sex couples the right to marry....

  5. Wow, how did you not choose numbers 1 OR 2??