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Monday, July 25, 2011

The Night or Evening or Breakfast of the Living Dead

Well it has finally happened. The Zombie Apocalypse is upon us.
A 50 year old dead man woke up at a local mortuary in Libode South Africa after family delivered him there 24 hours earlier.
The man awoke screaming and the attendants of the mortuary did the only reasonable thing they could do when hearing a supposed dead man yelling to be taken home...the ran for their lives.
The man, whose identity remains undisclosed, awoke around 5 PM and demanded that he be released.
I think those attendants should be checked for bite marks and that the only way to solve this dilemma is the quick decapitation of the zombie.
I wonder if he was resurrected due to disease, chemical warfare, or Jesus.
It is alleged his first words were "Brains!" Which he immediately followed up with, "Also make sure you include a mint jelly sauce!"
When the dead start waking up in funeral homes, you know it is a sign of the Apocalypse. Ironically enough, our President has said as much just a week earlier!
I wonder if he knew that zombies would start popping up in third world nations?
This isn't the first case of zombie activity though...In 2007, Carlos Camejo woke up at the morgue after being declared dead by a Doctor...granted it was a Doctor of Horticulture but they require the same classes, right?
Carlos came to during the autopsy as the attending physicians were trying to close a wound on his face.
In 2009, an 84 year old woman woke up hours after she was placed in a body bag at Zwolen Hospital in Poland. She came conscious at a mortuary a few blocks away.
I've even heard rumors of a teenager that woke up in a morgue and out of fear for his "un"life took a swing at the lab technician...so they can be violent upon "coming back."
So lock your doors and run for your lives...They are coming and we are all going to be on the menu.

3 comments:

  1. Anyone who has watched Buffy knows how immediately violent the undead can be upon awakening. Perhaps those who work in morgues should be required to wear armor and other protective gear. It certainly couldn't hurt.

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  2. It also makes me think dying in a third world country may not be so bad because the odds of coming back are better than one would have previously been led to believe. Albeit, one comes back as a zombie but it could be worse.

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  3. I agree with both of your points my dear. I also propose that the workers be allowed to carry blunt objects in order to fend of the hoards.

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