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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

A Tale Of Racism, Murder And Embezzlement Solved By DNA Evidence

Two escaped convicts were nabbed by the police in Hanover, Germany. They had escaped their cages and made it a whole 165 feet to a bus stop before they were apprehended again.
40 year old Dunia and her friend Daela, 25, were both enjoying a vegan snack as they waited around innocently to catch the bus.
I think the police were profiling and that is how they were able to catch them so quickly...after all Dunia is of Indian heritage and Daela is of African descent. I am sure they stood out quite well in the suburbs of Germany. Passersby found the apprehension amusing and laughed and pointed.
Unfortunately for the pair, the bus stop is out of use during the summer and they wouldn't have gotten far. They had been working off their debt to society as indentured servants. The pair was rounded up and returned to the local circus to finish their life sentences...those poor elephants.
In other news, a man's right to bear arms was violated in the state of Pennsylvania. An attorney by the name of David Manilla had his home raided and had around 90 guns confiscated as well as a bag of ammunition.
I think this is illegal..so what if David killed a man and then tried to cover it up by hiding the murder weapon, he has a God given right to own an arsenal. Sure, David was convicted of a violent felony, but that was in 1985...a lifetime ago...so I say let the past stay there and give David his guns.
I mean, if the guy he shot hadn't been hunting on David's property, he would still be alive. The victim, Barry Groh, was fatally shot only minutes after calling his wife to say he had bagged a huge buck. In the end, Barry ended up being the one bagged and full of buck shot.
The prosecution maintained that David failed to call for help and tried to hide the murder weapon and thus Davey was sentenced to up to 25 years in prison.
I am starting a free Davey petition, and I think we should show our support by shooting deer hunters!
Also from Germany...A soldier, whose name is unreleased but is 41 years old, is being held for possible embezzlement charges. Apparently, this guy was following along behind an armored car. And then, the armored car drivers didn't properly lock the doors and 3 safety deposit boxes fell out. So this unknown soldier pulled over collected the boxes and went about his day. Two days later, the soldier returned the safety deposit boxes unopened.
The boxes contained more than 1 million euros...which is the equivalent of like $8. And because he returned them, the police arrested him...So wait...you discover enough money to let you buy Portugal, and you return it to its owners and you get to go to jail? I would have kept the damn money! I think that is a better alternative, after all it wasn't like they could trace it...they didn't even know they lost it right away.
And lastly, beware the future of reality TV...Doggie Doo Mysteries a CSI spin off.
In Nashua, New Hampshire, an apartment complex is using DNA evidence to fine tenants for their pets leaving **** on the grass. Seems that the yard workers were tired of cleaning it up, so the manager Debbie Logan came up with a brilliant idea.
She would collect DNA samples from every animal in the complex and send to a facility that caters to Doggie DNA (I am assuming this is for pet cloning or weird human/poodle hybrids). Then whenever a pile of steaming poo is found on the grounds, instead of cleaning it up the yard men will now gather a small amount up and take it back to the office so that it can be sent to the lab for testing. Then the yard men can clean it up. I am sure the groundskeepers are thrilled about this extra doody...

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