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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I Love It When She Plays With My Sword

Maybe its just me, but I like "Geeky" Girls. If she's into swords, anime, Star Wars or the Highlander movies, I can honestly say I will be smitten. There's something about the way she stares longingly at my sword that gets me going.
I mean, let's face it the world of Science Fiction and Fantasy used to be a very male dominated area - a veritable sausage factory! But over the last several years, more and more women have discovered what young male social rejects knew all along...that "geek" is just a cooler word for "Cool".
For any men that have doubts, go to a comic book convention. The women there are as numerous (if not more so) than the men and they are all pretty much dressed as their favorite characters in a game they call Cos-play. I must admit my idea of Cos-play involves a stethoscope, a pair of handcuffs, her in a nurses uniform and me a prisoner being held at the hospital.
Movies like Spider-Man, and The Dark Knight helped bring women who had never read a comic book into those fantasy worlds. Video games like Rock Band and The Legend of Zelda enticed them in, and nothing is sexier than being "pwned" by a hot chick in Halo:Reach!
While I can't speak for other men, I love the fact that she and I could have more stuff in common. Imagine not having to watch Grey's Anatomy! This girl would rather watch Smallville or The X-Files!
Plus, she won't complain when she comes home to find you dressed like your favorite super-hero, although she may be mad that you didn't lay out her costume.
So guys go out there and encourage your girlfriends inner geek! After all, she won't yell at you for playing Call of Duty if she is playing with you, unless you really suck.
Here are some ideas on how to make your non-geeky girlfriend cooler:
1. Start with the easier stuff. Movies. The first thing you should do is get her to enjoy movies that aren't romantic comedies. The easiest geek movie to do this with is Harry Potter. After all, it is like Dungeons & Dragons lite! Those movies can help get her to be okay with watching other movies involving magic and dragons, like say Dragon Heart! From here you can push her to watch any number of movies involving knights, damsels and monsters! When you can get her to giggle through Army of Darkness, you will have reached Godhood. For those that love Science Fiction, transition her slowly from family friendly fare like Avatar to the new Star Trek starring that crazy guy from Heroes. Once she watches the new one, then you can be like well here is how the others went! I advise staying away from the older Superman movies and not show her anything that came out before Batman Begins, this will turn her off the genre.
2. Now that you have her curiosity peaked, you can begin to get her to try out some video games. I suggest any of the following options: the Nintendo DS, the Wii, the LEGO games, or Rock Band. This will get her to see that games can be fun without being too complicated. The controllers are designed for aerospace engineers so if you just hand her your Xbox controller she will look at you like you are out of your mind.  For group gaming load up Wii Sports and bowl with her. Then switch her to Rock Band on the PS3 or Xbox 360. Get her used to the controller by having her be the player to set the games up. Before you know it, she will be making you her bitch in Black Ops.
3. Once she watches a few of the newer comic book movies - Captain America, The Dark Knight, Thor - give her some of the comics that influenced them. Like The Killing Joke. Or V For Vendetta. This one is a harder sell and you have to give her reading material that has more going on than classic violence. Have her watch Smallville and then get her to read a few Superman comics.
4. This phase allows you to beat the hell out of her with padded sparring sticks. Claim that you read that this helps manage stress in a relationship and that all the therapists are recommending it. Make sure that the padded sticks are made of foam so that you don't actually hurt her (Or so that she doesn't hurt you in most cases). Make sure that the sparring sticks you buy resemble real weapons. The goal is to get her to play with your sword. This can also include having her play with knives and other medieval weapons. The more she wins, the more comfortable she will be handling your weapon.
5. The final step to making her into a geek is Costume Fore-play...I mean Role-play. Note: The Freudian Slip occurred because this can be used in the bedroom as well, I love being tied up with Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth! This can also include having her play with swords and knives. Halloween is the easiest way to get her involved. Throw a party or find a club that has costume contests. She will jump at the chance to be a part of it!
So that is all there is to it. And guys, if you aren't interested in your geeky girl because she's independent, smarter than you, and comfortable with her own skin...get a fucking dog.


  1. Geek girls? Girls who like watching Star Wars movies and collect comics?

    You clearly live in a fantasy world of which I know nothing. Nothing I tell you! I deny any evidence to the contrary.

  2. Methinks thou doth protest too much ;)

  3. I once told Rob that we had to get married because if we started fighting over the swords, someone might get hurt. He already tried to claim my Darth Maul silk boxers as his own. It's amazing he's still alive.