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Monday, October 3, 2011

I Just Would Like A Little Quiet

In a startling new trend of hating children, The Trimet (Oregon's largest transit agency) kicked a woman and her baby off a bus at night because the baby was being fussy. The incident happened in Portland on last Thursday around 8 PM. It all started when a young non-English speaking woman and her baby got onto a bus. The driver became irate and pulled the bus over about the loud and obnoxious child. The driver then walked back to the girl and her child and told her that if the child couldn't get quiet then she would have to leave.
I have to stop here to say that Guy Yelling At His Cell Phone and Dude Playing Obnoxious Music Way Too Loudly are way more offensive than a child crying...also what about Just Shit Himself Man and Drunk & Feeling Up Little Girls Homeless Person sitting at the back of the bus? Are they more socially acceptable than a woman alone with a baby? And what better way to deal with them than to just randomly pull over on the side of the road and make them get off in the dark? I am sure that they safely made it home! After all, what is safer for a young attractive woman that can't speak the language than to be left in the dark in a strange part of town?
You would think that there would be many on the bus that would have been happy for the quiet, but after forcing the woman off and pulling away the bus stopped again a few feet away - every passenger left the bus!
Maybe they just all missed their stops? I mean they couldn't have been offended by the driver's behavior so much that they would deliberately get off the bus in a strange part of town nowhere near a bus stop to just make sure this woman and child were safe, right? It turns out every passenger was so offended that they all exited the bus in protest of the driver's behavior.
This isn't the first time that businesses have taken a stand against children. Restaurants and movie theatres have slowly started banning children. It is a depression after all, so their motto's are "be depressed with your kids at home, so I don't have to be depressed by them in public." Once every business has successfully ostracized children, they will certainly have plenty of business from the 2% of people in America that do not have any. I am sure that group can ensure these places can keep their doors open!
I don't think the bans are going far enough to be honest! Let's ban all unattractive people from public places! If you look like Quasimodo, then go find a bell tower because we don't want to look at you! Or how about banning the elderly? We don't care what a gallon of milk cost in "your day" so just stay home! We can also ban people that own pets from ever being allowed in public again, because if they so prefer their animals then they can stay with them! Or how about people that are too tall or too short? Or anyone wearing purple? Or says the word "Hello?" And since I want to eat at fast food places with worrying about getting fat, ban every obese person from entering my range of vision!
Yeah, let's put bans in place to keep all of these undesirables out of public so they don't contaminate it with their backwards thinking and loud shirts/children/dogs/husbands/orgasms!
This way the only people we will have in those trendy restaurants, hot clubs, and the public transit system will be crickets!

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