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Saturday, October 15, 2011

It Was A Bridge Over Troubled Waters

I sit here tonight, sick from the sun, dealing with near unbearable pain while waiting for the allergy meds to work. So, in order to distract my mind, I decided to do what I do best...bring you the news you really need.
In this economy many have turned to recycling to earn a little extra cash. Some recycle cans. Others recycle scrap metal. A few have turned to petty crimes to steal and resell copper from electrical equipment and in some cases power lines.
Benjamin (24) and Alexander (25) Jones of New Castle, Pennsylvania have taken this concept to a whole new level.
Ben and Alex knew that they could make money by recycling. The problem was that they didn't have anything worth recycling and the beer cans were too useful as crack pipes, so instead they decided to steal an item to recycle. And the item they stole...was a 50 foot long bridge from a wooded area 60 miles north of Pittsburg known as Covert's Crossing Bridge.
Using a blowtorch the two quickly disassembled the bridge. Once they had taken it apart they were left with 15 and a half tons of scrap. Which they sold for $5000.
I would have demanded at least 8 large if it had been me. My question is "How does someone disassemble a bridge, have almost 16 tons of scrap, haul it away and go unnoticed? You would think a pickup truck hauling away a bridge would draw attention. It's not like they could just haul it off in one trip.
The scrapyard, for unstated reasons, began to doubt that the Jones brothers had the rights to the old bridge and alerted authorities. I can't imagine what is suspicious about two young guys hauling a bridge in to sell for scrap. I plan to go sell the Sears Tower for scrap in the morning!
They were arrested for criminal mischief...because stealing a bridge is just a prank. It's really no different than jumping out of a box to scare someone. Or giving someone gum that turns your teeth blue.
Lastly in an almost unrelated note, I would like to add that my real name is Benjamin, my mothers maiden name was Jones, and I have used the alias Alexander Jones when I didn't want anyone to know who I really was. So you can say that this news story was fated to be relayed by me...


  1. You know, you almost have to admire the audacity of this.

  2. I know right. This is the first bridge heist I have ever heard of

  3. Are you sure you were just destined to report on this? I think it was really you. Hence you going by Samael now right.

  4. How do you find this stuff?!?! Is this real? Ha Ha Sorry I haven't been around much. I have been doing more facebooking, lately....I think I am burned out from blogging....probably will get burned out from facebooking soon, too! :>) Oh, never content...he he!! I will send you a friend request...hope you will accept? :>)