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Saturday, October 22, 2011

It Was Over - Lickety Split!

I for one love the creative entrepreneur, which is why I am devastated authorities in New York sentenced Louis Scala to 3 and a half years on Tuesday for selling drugs out of his ice cream truck.
Scala had been using his self-owned ice cream business, Lickety Split, to front his real self-owned business - selling OxyContin with the Rocket Pops!
Using an accomplice, Scala had stolen a prescription pad from a Manhattan doctor and began to use drug mules to get the scripts filled. How come every time I go to get prescription strength Tylenol filled they call the doctor to ensure I had been there, but this guy writes enough prescriptions to get 43,000 pills and all the pharmacist does is fill them? Maybe I should ask for OxyContin next time instead of aspirin!
I just wonder what else he was selling out of that truck?
I would have liked to have tried his Methsicles or maybe some Heroin pops! When homeless guys are only begging for change around the route of the ice cream truck, you can bet it's not for the Tutti Frutti! You also have to wonder if the Scooby Pops have some Scooby Snacks hidden beneath the wrapper!
Investigators allegedly caught on to the drug ring when prescriptions for OxyContin doubled in a three year span. To them this was the "evidence of a large drug ring at work." Little Brandon tripping on acid after having a fudgesicle was never entered into evidence.
I think instead of prison, they should hire this guy to fix the economy! After all, he took a non-profitable business and made over 1 million dollars in a year! That's a lot of scratch that can then be spent on blow!
If we legitimize the ice cream trucking industry to sell drugs to people that obviously need them, then we are helping to save the economy and give people jobs! And when I say obviously need them, I am referring to people who have no real aliments that a doctor can diagnose so they would turn to the only people who market a product that makes them happy - ice cream! It's a common stereotype that sad women eat ice-cream to feel better about themselves, perhaps it is only because they are high as hell and have the munchies!
If Ben & Jerry's had marketed this instead of "Schweddy Balls", maybe the media wouldn't be giving them such flak! They could call it "Prescription For Happiness" or "Caramel Dr. Shopping."
And top it off with being a delivery service! Imagine if you could call Domino's Pizza and get a Large pepperoni with 'shrooms on the side! Then you wouldn't have to worry about the cops following you home ruining your buzz!
My only question is did he steal this idea from the popular "Grand Theft Auto" video game series? In the most recent console version GTA IV, players sold drugs out of ice cream trucks while avoiding police. If this is the case, then this further proves that video games help inspire people to things other than obesity or violence! It helps with job prospects too!
Readers, I encourage you to sign an online petition to free Mr Scala and return him to work...drug addicts all over the Bronx need their version of Humphry Slocombe's "Secret Breakfast." (For those that are not in the know this is an ice cream eatery located in San Francisco and this particular blend is an ice cream made with Bourbon and cornflakes.)


  1. Awwww . . . now I'm homesick . . .

  2. New York.

    Never been to San Fran.

  3. Just noticed the awesome puppy picture in your facebook badge.

    Pretty puppy.

  4. Wow, what an example of great ingenuity and entrepreneurship!!! Isn't that what this country is all about? In all seriousness...this validates the "creepy" feelings I have whenever I have been around ice cream trucks/vans.....:>(

  5. Ben, Ben, this guy isn't an entrepreneur, he's a Friday the movie junky!! C'mon, Big "Perm" Worm in his ice cream truck?? Apparently, the police need to watch more comedies :).

  6. You know...I had completely forgotten either way cops need to either watch more comedies or play more video games!