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Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Roses Are Red, The Stems Are Green. This Is The Coolest Poetry, I've Ever Seen

Folks, it has been a long time since I have found an author who has so touched me. An author who has just held me in a death grip. Because the writing was holding me by the balls. I think that may very well be a line from one of her poems.
Author Jennifer L Knox of Brooklyn is a poet anyone could love. Her book A Gringo Like Me is probably one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. Thankfully, another radiant beauty handed me a copy of the book and suggested I read it. And I am glad I did.
Maybe it's because I can relate to so much of what she has written. A rush of elation hit me when I saw her poem "Cruising For Prostitutes" - I have done that so many times! It's refreshing to know that I am not the only one! Of course, after reading it I realized that she was planning to take a cruise with a prostitute but that was still kind of cool. I know several on 10th street who would love to see the Western Caribbean!
Then there was another of my favorite poems in this collection - "Hot Ass Poem." It's a poem about how awesome it is to stare at human's (and in some cases non-human's) asses and that it's OK to give in to your desires to touch them. (I just tried this at the bus station on a 30 something year old woman who was trying to breastfeed her child. At the time, neither she nor the cops could understand that I was caught up in performance art. But, I know that she will fully appreciate how awesome it was by the time we have the court date for the assault charge.) In yet another Knox poem, she talks about how she "loves to masturbate." It's amazing how much you will find she has in common with her readers! And I am sure everyone has had a holiday similar to her "The Best Thanksgiving Ever." In this poem everyone gets drunk and naked. I call this Saturday.
But her writing doesn't just help you relate to your feelings, it is also informative. "The opposite of an otter is William Shatner." I had no idea that Captain Kirk was the antonym for a type of weasel! I also bet that you didn't know that "the opposite of Nazis is Jell-O wrestling for children." So ladies, go forth and wrestle in Jell-O for the benefit of children lest you be declared a Nazi! I have a kiddie pool filled with the stuff if you would like to stop by, I don't know, say on a Friday night, to prove that you aren't one of Hitler's youth.
 She also taught me what constitutes a proper student teacher relationship in "Chicken Bucket" by saying, "My teacher, ... gives me a dime of free crank and then we have sex." That's advice I can halfway follow!
She can also help you deal with new co-workers. In her poem "Ode to the New Girl at the Office," she tells us that learning your new co-workers name doesn't matter because she won't be there long, anyway.
So readers, buy the book! And if you would like more information on Ms Knox you can click here to go to her website.
I leave you now to think on all that you have read, and, in the words of Ms Knox, "I'd like to give you all the opportunity to behold the wonder of my incredible nipples."

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