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Saturday, November 5, 2011

These "Losers Suck D***"

I have been told that there is nothing like tripping on acid. Fans of LSD tell me that, barring the occasional (and by occasional they mean frequent) bad trips, it is a great drug to promote awareness of the truth that is around us. Occasionally that truth has freed ourselves and express ourselves in new ways. It makes us break social conventions and share with all of the earth's creatures.
Which is why I can't understand why authorities are upset with Nicolas Modrich and Jamie Hughes. Sure these 25 year olds "broke the law" by using an illicit substance. But it was just to learn higher truths! The highest of these truths would be that life is better naked. The second truth being that every living being has the right to learn this truth - including the family dachshund! 
So Nick and Jamie did the only thing this crazy couple could do while tripping balls naked - they fed their dog, Oscar, a hit of acid on a gummy worm! Now, most people in Georgia have gotten their pets drunk before, so really what could be the harm? However, the dog didn't handle the hallucinogen very well and must have experienced a bad trip. Because soon after taking the hit, Oscar began to whig out! I can only imagine what he may have been seeing. Perhaps a giant cat was chasing him! Oscar began to run in circles before tearing out of the house - biting Nicks mom and brother in the process! 
Now the question becomes: "How did the dog get outside of the house to begin with?" Well after Nick and Jamie took the LSD, Nick also began to freak out and he ran from the house screaming about spiders and Kermit the Frog. Jamie, worried about her naked boyfriend, chased after him - sans clothing. They ran for several blocks down the street giving the neighbors a chance to really get to know them, before Nick finally calmed down and realized the rainbow connection wouldn't alter his sexuality. 
Being the responsible adults they are, Jamie and Nick made sure that their newly adopted puppy was secured in the house before going for a naked mile run.
 Police, arriving by an anonymous call from a neighbor, were greeted at the door by Nick, wearing only a pair of socks, and Jamie, who had managed to put on pants by this point. Nick and Jamie confessed to having smoked a lot of weed and to the fact that they were tripping on acid. Nick must not have been too impressive, as officers didn't shoot him for answering the door with a weapon pointed at them!
Perhaps they were too busy laughing at Nick coming up a little short, or perhaps they were too upset about poor Oscar.
Because, Oscar, unfortunately, managed to escape from their imprisonment, which consisted of half closing the door, while they were jogging and he too ran off down the street.
The sad side of this story is that poor Oscar was hit by a car and later died in the veterinary clinic. It's unfortunate that neither Nick or Jamie was struck by the vehicle in the poor animal's place.

3 comments:

  1. ummm . . . feeling fried and came here to get out of my head a bit . . . and now I'm sad and angry . . .

    But thank you. It's good to be provocative.

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  2. Sadly, there was no way to give this story enough humor to make you forget the ending...but I figure if enough people see this maybe they will remember their names and faces and beat the ever loving shit out of them later...

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