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Monday, January 9, 2012

Georgia Has Lost Its Mind

As budget cuts occur, more and more schools are having to find new and cheaper ways to teach students. This sometimes mean that they won't have the newest textbooks. Or access to the internet. Or that they can't spend as much time learning Russian Literature as they spend learning Brazilian Literature.
Beaver Ridge Elementary School of Gwinnett County, Georgia, has found an interesting way to teach students - they created simple mathematical word problems. However, some parents, such as Christopher Braxton, could not fully appreciate the ambition of some of that school's teachers!
Third graders, including Braxton's child,  were given word problems such as "If Frederick gets two beatings per day, how many beatings did Frederick get in a week?" and "How many baskets of cotton could Frederick pick if he had to stop to rub his master's feet for 30 minutes every 2 hours over an 8 hour period if he could fill 4 baskets an hour without being beaten?" Another word problem asked the age-old question, "If each tree has 56 oranges and 8 slaves picked equally, how many oranges would each slave pick?"
Braxton, as well as anyone else who say the homework, felt that the school had crossed a line and labeled the teachers involved as being racists. The racists teachers prefer the term "color minded to prevent blending."
School spokesperson, Sloan Roach claims "the teachers were trying to merge math and social studies." Well duh, Sloan! After all the social impact of a riot at an elementary school seems like the kind of problem that would play out by the numbers!
I mean it's obvious that slavery and beatings make much easier word problems than questions about the 13 colonies or 1devising problems to figure out how many Republicans and Democrats have been President! How could anyone come up with a social studies math problem if they had to limit themselves to questions about how many states would it take to make up a 2/3 vote needed to ratify an amendment to the Constitution? Or how many Senators would be needed to impeach a President? No those kinds of questions aren't math friendly!
Sloan goes on to say that the questions were "inappropriate." No Sloan, inappropriate would be like the questions they allegedly had lined up to ask them tomorrow! Questions like "If Peter has two daddies, what is the percentage that they will burn in hell?"
They allegedly opened the class Dragon of the KKK to come by and teach the kids the uplifting and love filled ways of treating those different from us! Extra curricular activities included: proper noose tying, how to make a cross burn for hours, and how to effectively organize your lynch mob!
I wonder if the teacher's brought in a whip and demonstrated the way to keep "Frederick" in line?
But this isn't the 1st time Gwinnett has been in the news for their unusual teaching methods. Back in September, a bus driver refused to intervene while a 15 year old girl beat up an 11 year old just outside of the bus. The driver claimed it wasn't her place to get involved and allegedly claimed that the two girls needed to learn to handle their own problems.
I agree. Breaking up a fight between a Sophomore and an eighth grader sounds like way too much work and it would have been irresponsible of her to leave the bus to do so anyway! Sure some of you may say "why didn't she call authorities?", but we don't know if she had unlimited minutes on her cell phone. Those roaming fees can be killer!
So Gwinnett County keep making the headlines because while others may think your racist and the result of inbreeding, we just know your bat shit crazy!

1 comment:

  1. I've no doubt that if I were to take the time, I could find the perfect Ralph Wiggum quote for this post but I think even thinking about the reality of this has caused my brain cells to start dying.

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