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Saturday, February 11, 2012

Her Punishment Starts With A Bang

Facebook can get you into trouble. It can cause awkward moments at work. It can cause awkward moments with family. And in some cases, it can have repercussions.
In the case of Hannah Jordan of North Carolina, the repercussions can shoot into the stratosphere...or at least into her laptop.
That's because after posting a profanity laden tirade on Facebook, her father decided the best punishment would be to fill her laptop full of lead! 
Tommy Jordan, who claims to work in IT, broke into his daughter's security measures and found a hidden message addressed to him, his wife, and her mother. The message had things in like "if you expect me to do shit around the house then you should pay me or clean it up your damn self." And "if I have to get your coffee once more I will flip shit." 
Tommy goes on to say that the entirety of her chores includes sweeping two rooms, making her own bed, doing her own laundry, emptying the dishwasher, and wiping down the counters. If these are the extent of her chores, then I feel bad for my own son. I make him do everything that I don't want to do. I even make him tuck me in at night and read me stories. And do my laundry. And reorganize my room. Pick up after me. Basically I make him do everything, because, let's face it, I don't want to!
Anyways, Tommy goes on to give an example of how such disrespect should be handled. By putting ten bullets through his daughter's laptop. He then explains she can get a new one when she buys it herself and repays him the $130 he spent fixing it the day before!
I think he should have also put a bullet through her cell phone. Through her favorite CD's/DVD's. Into her dollies. Her pillow. Arts and crafts she made as a young child. Her pets. Her boyfriend. The neighbors pony. The school bus. And Mark Zuckerberg for letting a child post messages parents can't typically view.
After shooting up all of this, he could then make her work of the debts at a coal mine in nearby West Virginia! 
Tommy made an eight minute video detailing his revenge plot and shooting up the laptop - which he then uploaded onto his daughter's Facebook wall for all her degenerate friends to see! The video can be viewed by clicking here.
He encourages parents to follow his example and I say that he is correct only to take it further and show those kids who their "daddy" is!
In other news, today's post marks exactly one year since Sympathy began. Thank you all for your patronage!

5 comments:

  1. Happy birthday to your blog.

    Do you know any cures for the common cold? I'm suffering and miserable and want to shoot my nose off. But I don't have a gun which is probably why I have so many problems. I also don't have a facebook account so I have nowhere to express my miserable state.

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    1. Perhaps a bit of vodka with your tea...it won't make the cold go away but then again you won't care...

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  2. Thank you for showing the true direction that this maniac progenitor (I refuse to call him a 'father') is heading with his vengeful and abusive video. He calls it 'tough love' -- I see the tough, but I don't see any love. God help that poor girl.

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    1. Well I am glad that you saw the whole picture my anonymous friend. Perhaps Jerry Springer will invite them to hang out for a weekend!

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  3. http://carolinaregion.blogspot.com/ Jordan family blog link.

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