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Thursday, August 30, 2012

It's An Anorexic World After All

Folks, the fashion world has long told us that skinny is in. And I am not talking about a healthy, actually achievable through regular exercise and a good diet, skinny - I am referring to looking so skinny that you appear to have a deadly disease! Fashion models, who look like they are dying of starvation, have tried to teach young girls that this look is the only attractive look. And who can disagree, after all everyone remembers that Teela had a crush on Skeletor!
The problem is that most of these models look like they have been doing 8 balls of coke for months. Maybe this is their idea of saving the planet? They eat one teaspoon of food a week and get all of the rest of their nourishment from crack? This would ensure that animals and plant-life could flourish since they would be too emaciated to catch potatoes! 
Which brings me to the subject of today's blog: The Disney Corporation. Walt Disney created a bunch of lovable cartoons way back in the day. These cartoons tried to spread messages appropriate to youth. Messages like: "A talented woman can sing, cook, AND clean" (Snow White), and "you don't need your own voice so long as you get the man of your dreams" (The Little Mermaid). And let's not forget this little gem: "though he may keep you imprisoned and he may psychologically abuse you, he really is a prince deep down" (Beauty and the Beast). And then there is the overall theme of: "without a man, you are F***ed!"
These uplifting messages have helped shape generations of women. Now, Disney is wanting to add another message to its growing list of abhorrent anecdotes. The new message is "the only beautiful woman is one that suffers from anorexia or bulimia."
That's right, Disney wants young women to idolize fashion models. This week, Barney's of New York has let images of their upcoming holiday gala slip to the media...images of a new...updated...Minnie Mouse, Daisy Duck, and Goofy. 
The new images are courtesy of Dennis Freedman, Barney's Creative Director and are part of Barney's "Electric Holiday" fashion set.
I didn't know that stick figures were considered art! If I had, I may have gone into designing fashion! After all, those are the only things I can draw! Did anyone ever consider that may be the only reason fashion designers make such small clothing? Because when they sketch it out, they can only doodle stick figures and rather than admit that their drawings suck - they claim they did it on purpose?
Minnie looks like she is in the last stages of the AIDS virus! Is Disney also advocating that young girls have lots of promiscuous sex so they can eventually get infected and then ultimately look like that? I've seen toothpicks with more meat on them. Is she even a mouse still? She looks creepy. Like she is going to become a zombie and eat me or something.
Then there is the new Daisy. Daisy Duck now has breasts. I never realized that before. I guess it is fitting, since that would be the part of poultry I would order at KFC, but on a children's cartoon duck? Of the three images, she is (and this is not saying much) the least creepy. She looks like the girl next door - if she hadn't eaten for seven years. 
Goofy is also appalling. He looks like a member of Jersey Shore. Are they going for the pedophile look? His facial expression says "come here little girl and get your surprise out of my pocket". He is even rocking out the skinny jeans! He's supposed to be like 30, you don't wear that shit at 30! Hell, guys shouldn't wear it at 9. The only part of his outfit that I like is the scarf, but that's only because I would actually wear that. 
The images aren't the only thing that is being prepared for Barney's. No, they are also getting a short film to go along with them. I just wonder if it is a porno, because that is what all these characters look like they are part of. Cue the cheesy music, and watch as Mickey Mouse gets it on with Daisy and Minnie at the same time!
Which reminds me, where are the images of the new Mickey? Are they saving that as a surprise? Is it even more creepy? Will he have a goatee or maybe even a full beard? Maybe he will be designed to look like a biker? And where is Donald? Maybe Dennis Freedman will play up the angry duck's Sailor image and make it more in line with The Village People? 
I just wonder what messages Disney will promote next. Maybe a joyful tale of gangland violence centered in the Hundred Acre Wood? Or perhaps, Chip and Dale will join the association that shares their names?

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